Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
