i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How does one acquire holy water?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
