I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
