i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
