READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
