wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize