i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
