he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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