just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
