ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
