I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
