you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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