Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
