She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
birth control should be required to get into college
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
