I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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