problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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