tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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