Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She is in my trunk
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
