if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
