I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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