I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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