So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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