woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize