I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
