Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How external is "for external use only"?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
