i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
