I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
