Christians are straight up FREAKS
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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