i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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