we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
