Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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