I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
