Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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