Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think your dad took our porno
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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