When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
