Is it normal to miss your booty call?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
