Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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