The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
