What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
