If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I am morally bankrupt
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize