I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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