just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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