no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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