yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
