she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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