I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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