Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
