operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
