So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
