Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
