stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
