I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
