Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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