scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
