i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
