i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i now understand why vodka
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize