3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
