I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
