3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
