3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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