so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
